Is it god who chokes in these situations?

Whats the point really? Like why are we here? Why should I care if I look nice or do my homework? Why should i like people, date, or make friends? Why should it matter?! I heard once that life is just something we think about all a big dream. It really made me think...I wish i could ask god, "God is everyone here make believe?" But when we really need things we don't, were pros at building up walls to shelter us against pain...i wish i could tear mine down and create a force i dont think i have..what would people do? would they pity me? Would they think i pity myself?, Am selfish and ungrateful?, thats why i wouldnt tear my walls down they would force me to try and paste them back up with used cement harding myself to i stick into my wall till it over takes me.. And i dont care if you are the most happy go lucky person in the world, we all have pain, heartache, been dissed, and slit cases of depression we remember the worst insults or the ones that we mearly surpassed but haunts us 3 years from now..Why deal with people when they all have the potentail to hurt..but why not? Eh rather go out there and do something then sit at home and collect recollections. God i guess you need to show me that your to live for..wow jk i just that apfany!! haah :D ------enasni ydal seog ot?