A Few Of My Things

I am not going to blogcast about yesterday's . its depressing that all you need to know.. And for that reason I'm going to make this a HAPPY BLOG! Where i list all the things that pop into my head right now, that make my laugh or smile or i just love..Start with food. all sorts. Adorable Electronic music. TAYLOR LAUNTER. bright t-shirts. Textured hair. athletic highs. tall socks. electric blankets. Whispered late night talk, and the worry of being heard. Racing (snowmobile). Random comments and inside only secrets. My best friends who are tied, b/c they can both tie up my heart. an unexpected picture. Airplane rides. Daddy polar hug. Having the person on the other end of the phone not want to hang up. Learning (nerd). Weightlessness of water. A good book with a slice of cheese. A almost too hot shower. A grin or eyebrow raise i completely understand. A mixed CD. naughty talk and being single. being a weirdo and creeper, being busy and a teenager...
I may just be a pill popper but you would never take me seriously ppppllloooppp

I've been proven guilty

Emotions. reactions to an experience that the brain transmits as good or bad.Neuroscience. Is honestly making me bawl right now.(STOP READING NOW) no i didn't spell bowl wrong. Cry,sniffle, cough, escaping a bubbly moaning sound making my mascara drag down, mucus flow out my nose, face redden and be very distorted. I haven't cried since i puked this summer. (STOP READING NOW)
Neuroscience and my need to be a success makes me want to good. want to learn, get good grades be good at athletics, get a scholarship, be looked up to. (Sorry this is confusing to read but my brain is sending a lot of impulses at the moment.) (STOP STOP STOP) my brother, everyone i know stereotypes him, making me a very pathetic teenager and sister to :( do it too. Tells me over and over again i think I'm better than everyone else and I'm a bitch. I never thought it mattered to me but, it crashed into me now, I've hit the brick wall. It's true. Not just my brother thinks this either my whole family does they can all hear me crying right now.typing this down, laughing at the t.v. together in the other room. I've dissed them so badly i don't think they care about me anymore. Love and care is different they have to love me and take care of me, but to care if I'm crying, if i stain my favorite sweater, to pat me on the back and say its okay....that's gone. They have a great reason to though.
I'm guessing my friends think this too they must. I honestly didn't think i was like this, always joking about it, because i do like people and try not to judge or be too rude. but i don't think its funny anymore. I think I've just lost that humor. I'm scared no one likes change their body rejects it usually. How will this change me?
I don't feel above anyone right now, i want to move outside and live with the pigs. I am disgusted with myself, my personality, i don't want to be a success anymore i want to feel loved, by someone other then my sister or a temporary boyfriend, for the first time in my life, a hug that tells me I'm perfect the way i am. It wont come as they turn up the volume and avoid the bitch in the other room, getting their justice. I think I'm going to pour out all my fluid through my eyes today. Epiphany has been served. (I TRIED TO STOP YOU)

Da-Dadada-Daaa-DadaI Like Your Eyes Wide

The laws of life. What is it? We are just made of organs and bones we have sensory organs that let us feel wool and grab the chips. Take me apart. I'm nothing but matter. But i can do so much run marathons, cry and scream. Take me apart. I'm nothing with out my senses. Why did you put me here oh lord? It's not like i can do something so amazing...If i save someone from suicide 100 more die in my state for that reason. Why is there even people at all? We alter every place we have inhabited. Without us the world wouldn't have hate or war. People aren't good we are deceiving, psychotic beings. We want everything we don't appreciate or forgive. We disgrace your name lord...has this gotten too out of hand?
-your neurotic nut..

Thats it, its over

What happens when you plan something for awhile then it happens, fast, then its over? Lets just say relief, and a little sad, burned out, and relaxed. I kind of like this feeling haha

Is it just a role

I try to take a stand for people or things i believe in i really do. I want to impact things that i believe matter not watch them disapear or cause pain. What happens when people don't want you to help them? Do you just walk away, when you truely think you could patch up their sadness? Sorry i was to passionate in helping you, ill just go fuck myself sorry. Screw helping lets just be selfish. (sorry for naughtly language W)
crazy people+bad temper= cereal killers

Homeostasis

I want it all! I want nothing. What is it? I don't know i want to be successful but I'm much to lazy. I want someone to love me but i don't want to be labeled as with them. I want looks, wit, and passion but i think i have a little of them...I want to be different, but i want people to accept me and be somewhat "normal". I think i know who i am but then i would never depend on myself. I feel like life will never end but i know body parts will fail and wither, or all together end. I wish my life was a story line though i love the suspense of not knowing what will happen. I think I'm strong but i know I'm not. Are Polar Opposites what equalizes us all, or am i just an exception?
-He said, "you got to be crazy!" I say, "Boy you haven't realized this yet?"

I Wish You Were Here

no i dont

VRrrrrrroooommm, EEEEEEEEEkkkk, Bang!, OH SSSSH****!!!

That would be anytime driving with me...I am terrible at this trival task. Ha and im taking my test this week or next, it looks to be that im going to need to move to a walking distance from a bus stop.

Have Any Taste Ever?

I absolutly loath planning things ergg so what do i do? Start planning a huge event which could be devisating or awesome fun....I want it to be fun. It's a big deal in my tiny exsistance...friends make the 15th fun please